Private Project
Bodywork: Samskara 2025
The Personal Award recognizes outstanding images, whether singular or part of a series, that engage in the exploration and expression of the power of self-representation and/or underrepresented experiences.
PERSONAL AWARD JUROR • Pauline Vermare, Phillip & Edith Leonian Curator of Photography, Brooklyn Museum
Synoposis:
Samskara is a self-portrait project that documents physical and mental progress on my journey rehabilitating a chronic lifelong disability: my left knee is unable to bend greater than 15 degrees since birth. While the project began as data collection, it evolved into connecting with a part of myself that used to only bring me pain. Through exploring holistic treatments, I've begun to connect the way physical trauma impacts the psyche and creates tangible emotional blocks within the body.
Statement:
Samskara: Bodywork is a self portrait project that documents my journey seeking medical care and charting progress for a chronic and lifelong mobility disability.
Knees are one of the weakest and most vulnerable parts of human anatomy. Despite their important function of stabilizing the entire body, they are ill designed for the task. My left knee is a medical enigma, unable to bend more than ~15 degrees on average since I was born. I have spent decades navigating the health care industry looking for solutions, answers, ways to heal, and how to maintain mobility to avoid worsening health conditions.
After over 10 years of neglect, preceded by 14 years of intensive daily Iyengar yoga practice for 2 hours every morning in my father’s St. Louis studio, I had to face the task of demystifying my body and explore different treatments, alone. My knee was alien to me, obscured and emaciated, atrophying into numbness and needles. I cried every time my leg trembled, the reaction of dormant muscles awakening. Defeat echoed in my mind when thoughts drifted to the future, leaving me immobile with terror. Now, I chase the shaking sensation, urging new pathways to re-awaken and function how they were intended. Within the process, there is unrelenting pain, tears, shame and anger—but there is also ecstatic elation, joy, and love.
This therapeutic self-portrait series examines the impact physical complexities have on identity and self-image. My body is in a continuous state of negotiating private and public perceptions: what others see, and the way I see myself—which is in constant flux. Through exploring holistic treatments like Ayurvedic remedies, acupuncture, different massage techniques, & trauma-based EMDR therapy, I've begun to connect the way physical trauma impacts the psyche and creates tangible emotional blocks within the body.
136
