Although it is not an official diagnosis, in 2019 I heard from my therapist that I was facing an identity crisis. That I shouldn't ignore it and bear in mind track of my responses and feelings, to not go into depression. It has been a tough path dealing with all the external stressors of life, the abrupt changes, all the anxiety crisis. Back in Brazil, I had planted this lavender, it grew and bloomed, also helped me to sleep, and gave me valuable lessons about time and life. Brazil
Photography always helped me face my troubled times, and it played a crucial role this time, helping me not just face but explore my feelings, my blues, myself. This time, I bared my body and emotions trying to understand how I could reconnect back with my own self
** translation**
And since I am like this, today, let me open up to myself, feel myself and give myself to this person who is always there to pick up the broken pieces, who drains it all out when reaches rock bottom.
For this little girl who nags me to keep going despite of...
So let it be always whole, the giving, and the taking, bluntly, without half-willingness, without half-truth
Just me
Brazil
A couple of months have passed since my return to Brazil, which helped me to restore some of my sanity. The days in Argentina were the beginning of my clarity, where I could breathe briefly without all the stressors I had been dealing with at the time. It was the beginning of my returning to myself. Brazil
Some days were harder than orders, some were just too quiet, where I would struggle to find the strength to get out. Sometimes I had to push myself to keep ongoing. But there is beauty and a force everywhere, photograph helps me to find it, even in the small details of daily life.
The visual observation of those different moods and feelings, especially in between the anxiety crisis, helped me to comprehend some aspects of myself. Even when it seemed helpless, even when it was too much to face at the time.
Brazil
Some days are just bigger than me, I can recognize that. Brazil
Now I can see clearly, and the writing helped me quite a lot to get that. Sometimes I wrote out my feelings, and even if it did not make much sense at the time, after it help me achieve clarity, help me to pay more attention to what I was feeling and what I could get out of it helping me to understand why.
**translation**
Perhaps we seek pre-conceptualized reciprocity in love and reject what does not correspond to the illusion of our desire. We believe that reciprocity is just getting back the exact same feeling.
Maybe it's time to recognize that we received something in return and we have to open up ourselves to accept what we received back.
Cause maybe it's not what we wanted, but there's something good in there if we're willing to open up completely, in the same way, to be able to understand what it all means.
Think about it!
Brazil
The most unexpected feeling - the calm before the storm. What an odd feeling: to be on the border of the opposites. (...) And I can see now, that it was what made me survive, just as if life was bringing me up to the surface to take that deep breath before getting hit by it all. That crucial breath makes you catch just enough air for you to be able to make it through. That pure raw instinct of survival taking charge. Brazil
Sometimes I wonder how powerful my mind is, how fast it can create all the scenarios in my brain. In a blink of seconds, I get lost in my own thoughts, and it takes to power over me.
**translate**
inhale exhale
breathe
don
let it goes
let it out
let it be
let it
Brazil
**translate**
I am sorry for the honesty but sometimes is your fault. You know that you are like this. And you can only love and
I thought I knew my own strength, but I don’t. But now I know that will be days like this one in which I’ll be sure that it is much more than I would dare to imagine.
There will be days that I will feel so strong that it will surprise me with its power. Days that I will become my own heroine.
**translate**
The real willpower blooms in winter
pink ipe is a rather large deciduous tree. Usually, a third of that height is in the trunk and two-thirds are its long branches and it has a slow growth rate. Distributed throughout Central and South America blooms in the wintertime.
Brazil
