Her Fragile Life:My ongoing exploration into the intricate, shielded and bittersweet world of my ill sister.
The roots (2019 - 2022) When I was sixteen, I was present at the bedside of my older sister to help prevent her from committing suicide. She was then in the early stages of her struggle with anorexia. Hospitals and psychiatric offices served as both refuge and restraint for her and for many others with similar illnesses. Like an old black and white movie, the austere corridors and mysterious, shadowed rooms of the iconic Saint Côme psychiatric hospital within Hôtel Dieu de Paris blurred the lines between healing, confinement and possible liberation - if one wanted it. Through this evolving project I came to understand that she had constructed a life that works for her, one in which she remains dependent and cared for.
While Her Fragile Life is focused primarily on my sister, the stories it tells provide a bridge from the personal realm to the collective experience. Her Fragile Life is not merely a group of photographs as the visual language encompasses a symphony composed of layers, diverse emotions, and contrasting hues. Use of photocollage weaves together two distinct layers—a refined, monochromatic canvas joined together with a vibrant layer painted in the hues of life. 3D windows are meticulously excised and deconstructed, implying both my own engagement and allowing glimpses into the feeling within.
Our story continues (2022 - present) Over the years, my sister has found sanctuary within her hometown, tethered by fleeting connections to family, kindred spirits, and compassionate social workers. In this cocoon of familiarity, she has woven a life intricately entwined with the cuddly toys of childhood, symbolic of both solace and dependency. Her existence, defined by her continuing emotional and financial reliance, reveals the fragile thread that binds her to the world 'out there.' Her choices are a testament to the resilience that resides within vulnerability, the strength found in the midst of struggle.
In this project I support my sister's own ideas about delight and beauty alongside my own call to introspection. By confronting uncomfortable truths and venturing beyond the boundaries of comfort, together we unravel the complexities of her story, confronting societal stigmas and preconceived notions about mental health, addiction and joy.
“The floor seems thin. There seems a risk that the woman collapses onto me. I prefer to live in the underground over walking as a big woman through life.”
“A part of me is hidden. I need to dig deeper and remove the surface to find my real self and to feel emotions.”
“I am still not giving up, though I can't find the puzzle pieces of my life anymore.”
“Caged. No air to breath. Petrified. A monster.”
“I am in this interim world, from which I can observe only.”
“Playing music to avoid the compulsion of panicking. Playing music to find the puzzle pieces of my life again.”
“Caged … again. A psychiatric department? A prison? A baby’s crib?”
“Something is hidden. I don't see which part of me is missing. What holds me back?”