"Most people say you can do whatever you want; you are a free woman, but it is still expected to be more accepted. Yes, you have equal rights, but there are still some hidden layers in society's thoughts towards women, expecting them to follow some norms. It is how it is. Yeah! That is also Denmark".
Said Louise Hoffbeck, a 31-year-old Danish falconer, teacher, nature consultant, reenactor in Viking shows, and volunteer in the Red Cross, lives on her farm in Tãllãse, a city near Copenhagen, Denmark. Along with teaching kids and teenagers in both an alternative and a traditional school, she spends much time and money on her birds of prey.
"I do not earn money from my farm and birds of prey; I just choose to live this way. "Louise continues smiling, "Why to make life easy when we can make it complicated?" I do much work as I want many things".
Spending lots of time with work, friends and family, Louise rarely gets a moment of rest, even for having a meal. She wakes up almost every day around 6 a.m., does much work during the day, and goes to sleep around midnight. "When I was married, we had a daily nap, which I hated. I do not like to sleep in the middle of the day. I think it is a waste of time."Now, she is living with Mona, a veterinarian whom she met at the beginning of the year through Facebook and decided to live together on her farm to help each other with work. Mona helps feed the horses and birds, and they share some fun moments.
Faded Memories
Although she spent her childhood with step-fathers and foster siblings at her mother's house, Louise grew up peacefully. "I decided never to leave this house. Still, I think the same way, although I am not living here anymore," said Louise. However, the house burnt down three years ago, becoming one of her worst memories. She says: "I lost many dreams. I needed to have new dreams and good memories. I did many things to recollect memories again, even by digging in the ashes of the burnt house. Memories are significant to me".
Louise lived with her boyfriend, Benjamin, for about ten years, married at age 27 and divorced after two years."After my divorce from Benjamin, I was feeling so lonely. I kept my life busy. I do not say that was a wise decision, but I would say that it was brave to stay alone and deal with everything all by myself".
A new section in life
Louise discovered endometriosis in her ovaries last year and went through surgery. This may reduce the possibility of pregnancy for her. Therefore, she wants to try having a baby by age 33.
"I would love to have a baby. I also would love to have a trustworthy man with whom I can make a family, but if I cannot find the type of man I want, I will not wait longer to find him. With this health condition, I think it is too late for me to have a child. I want to have a family, but I do not want to miss the opportunity of being a mother because of the absence of the right man in my life".
Louise continues: "I've always been a bit different than others because my hobbies were different. Of course, the way I lived with my family was also different. Now I think I need to have a family differently".
When the idea came to her mind, she decided: "I got pregnant when I was 17. I had an abortion, and because of the doctor's mistake, I had to have another abortion after three weeks... after that, till age 25, I was so afraid to get pregnant and to go through another abortion. After I learned about endometriosis in my ovaries, I am ready to be a single mother by artificial insemination if I cannot find the right guy".
Her childhood friend Rikke says, "She is alive and tries every aspect of life. If she gets an idea, she follows it to make it hers. No fear, she throws herself into stuff."
Mona, Louise's flatmate, believes, "There are still norms for women even in a developed country like Denmark. Society expects you to have a family, husband, kids, career, and a house. However, she is coping with doing many things alone. She does what she wants, not what society might expect."
